A bikers fan base is big and includes a huge demographic of persons. From little kids to adults and everyone else in between. They come with a certain perception and expectations of a biker. A biker is the only person second to a rally driver known to get to Mombasa from Nairobi in two hours – perception. Bikers are the only other know tycoons, their machines cost millions. That statement iiiiiis ……. TRUE/FALSE.

I doubt there is a biker who has not enjoyed the moment of glory, that moment when you are the coolest person, your machine is admirable and only you in that crowd can answer everyone’s questions. That moment you have the monotony of knowledge. You are also the senior marketing and technical manager of your brand. You answer to questions like the engine capacity (cc) of the bike, hose power, maximum speed, tank capacity, petrol consumption rate – how many kilometers to a litter and many others. At this moment, you only compare to a movie star and if you needed to be the MCA of that region, all votes would go to you. Such is life of a biker regardless of where you come from. 

When our fans think this highly of us, we never want to disappoint them. After the conversations are over, their amazing imaginations are about to be confirmed. In our starring moment, we end up in some really awkward and embarrassing moments. 

Here are the 10 most embarrassing moments of a biker. You must read till the end.

  1. At the red lights, everyone in the cars around you is admiring your bike, the pedestrians crossing can’t help to give a thumbs up, a wink, a nod or a smile. The girl or guy next to you in the car has not stopped admiring your bike and giving you that look of “I wish I was you”. The lights go green and boom, you stall. Damn it. 
  2. The failed impressing moment – When you get to your parking lot and there is this girl or guy who has been waiting to see the owner of the cool bike. They approach you as you get close to the bike. You are swinging your keys on one hand and your helmet on the other, humming to some song and excited it’s riding time. He/she says hello, you respond. They tell you your bike is cool and ask the usual questions. They won’t leave till they see you ride off. You do your leg reverse and as you turn to get out, boom, you drop the bike. The admirer has to come to your rescue and help pick the bike. They tell you sorry a thousand times and then ask, ulianza kuride Juzi? (You started riding the other day?)
  3. The start switch – You walk to your bike and find a crowd. You really don’t have time to answer the usual questions and you are in a rush. You put on a serious face that when they see you, they all move away and save their questions for another day. You do your thing, helmet, jacket, swing over , key in and boom, the bike refuses to start. Next, kick start if you have one or if you don’t, start guessing the problem. The guys are watching coz ulikuja stone face (coz you gave them a hard look). After, one, two or three gather courage to help, they discover you just not using the start switch to start the bike. They are left laughing at you. 
  4. The mind memory fuel gauge – That one of insisting your bike has fuel when it has none. This happens when you ride one of those bikes that have no fuel gauge. You think you just refilled the other day and have not been riding too much. But you have forgotten the random you did that was 100 kms. The bike stalls on your way to work. You are sure it can’t be fuel. Everyone you call suggest check fuel but you are certain you have enough. The mechanic is sent to you. He comes and says, let’s just open the tank. It’s empty. This is three hours later. You have to pay the Mech by the way. 
  5. The take off gone wrong. Once you have been the coolest person at the gathering called by your bike, you want to ride off in style. You start the bike and take off zoooooom, and boom, you fall or hit the bush. And everyone cheers —oooh laughs behind you as they come to pick you up. 
  6. The draining of the hero. You have been sharing you heroic stories. Everyone listening quietly. After they all express their admiration of what you are doing. It’s time to say bye and ride off. You have been telling yourself I am going to get out of the gate on that gravel road and manouver the corner like a pro. No you won’t. You get to the gate and freeze. Can’t do this. You are crushing under your helmet. You look at the guys faces and they are worried. They wonder what’s happening. No one can think a hero is scared of the gravel and corner down hill, but she is. Ask for help, ran and meet your bike down the road.
  7. The end of day drop – When you forget to put the side stand down. Let’s be honest, how many have got out of the bike with side stand up and it drops. If it does not hit you, it bends your clutch lever or damages your mirror or simply nothing else happens other than you getting embarrassed. 
  8. When you hit the kill switch instead of the lights or horn switch. At least this is only embarrassing to the rider as no one else gets to know what happened. But on the highway your speed kind of just goes slow like you are about to stall and if there is traffic behind you, the hooting can render you deaf. This actually happened to me. And I did slow down for almost a minute before I figured out what had happened. Almost a minute is really a long time in such a situation. 
  9. My bike won’t start moment – Some Bike’s will start when the side stand is down but once you let go the clutch, the engine dies. Some will only start when on neutral but if you engage gear one when the stand is down, the engine dies. If you are not aware of this, you can start the bike ten or twenty times until someone’s shouts, put the stand up! Damn embarrassing. 
  10. The Pillion – you are in this event and a guy or girl admires your bike so much to even ask for a ride. After trying to say no for the longest, you give in only to get a puncture after a few kilometers. Now your pillion is stuck with you till you can fix the bike.

Share more of your biker’s embarrassing moments and let us have some good laugh.

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    1. Wamuyu – Am a Kenyan motorcycle rider. Am currently riding around the world on my BMWF700GS. I am the first African woman to take up such an adventure. This journey will take about three years in which I want to have traveled through all the seven continents. My objective besides fulfilling my travel dream is to inspire my fellow African women, take the great stories of my country and continent out to the world as well as help other women from Africa travel.
      wamuyu8 says:

      That’s great. Thanks for reading and happy Thursday.

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